On What Bravery is and Being Tired

I have seen a lot of people recently talk about how various former officials from the Orange Menace's administration are so brave for speaking out against him after they leave office.  Or you hear about how brave Republican lawmakers are who vote against what he wants.  Neither is what I would consider brave.

If they were brave, they would be consistently resisting his usurpations and abuses of power.  If they were brave, they would openly work against him while they were a part of his administration, not just talking about it after they leave.  If they were brave, they would be willing to completely risk their jobs and power to prevent him from doing the truly awful things he does.  If they were brave, they would fight tooth and nail to force him out of office.

But they don't.  Instead, they issue tepid statements and belated "condemnations".  Instead they wait until there is nothing that can be done and then blare their objections.

And I can't say the Democrats are much better, for the most part.  There are some who are fighting back as hard as they can, but most are too enamored with their power to really fight like they should.  I do understand their pragmatic instincts, but this is not a time for pragmatism.  This is a time to fight and to resist with everything we have and to the extent we are able.

I know that I wish I could do more, but I literally can't afford to take time off of work to join protests.  If I did, I wouldn't be able to pay my bills.  I don't have health insurance, I don't have job security, and if I miss work, I don't get paid.  So all I can do is write and encourage others who can afford to protest and do more.

All the same, I am mortally tired.  I am tired of the emotional drain from this leech on our body politic.  I am tired of having to justify my existence and my rights to people who believe that I am lesser merely because of my sexuality and gender identity.  I am tired of seeing people spew vitriol at those who are already oppressed.  I am tired of watching the Orange Menace get away with all sorts of shit because the Republican Party doesn't give a shit about the Constitution or the American people.  I am tired of hearing people who claim to be Christians going against everything that Christ taught about supporting and upholding the poor, the widowed, the powerless, and the disenfranchised.  I am just mortally tired.

I don't know how much more energy I have to keep on going.  It's not that I don't care or am not outraged, it is that I am lacking the energy to express the outrage.  And no amount of "me" time seems to help.

I am just tired.